So, I think I had this thing all mixed up!
Wake up. Spend time with God. Spend time with my spouse. Make breakfast. Teach the kids. Plan activities. Go on adventures. Make lunch. Quiet time for the kids while I read, catch up on homework, spend more time with God (especially depending on how "stressful" the first half of my day was). Have snack. Teach the kids. Outdoor time. Cook dinner. Play a family game. Study the bible as a family. Get kids ready for bed. Pray. Spend time with my spouse. Bedtime. Repeat.
Nice, lovely, safe life. I worked hard to get it to this state of peace. Everything was AWESOME! So I thought.
What happened? If you noticed during my daily schedule, I had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with God and His Word. It's one thing to read the bible searching for answers, but it's a very different thing to read the bible searching for God. My eyes were opened to things I never saw before. I wasn't looking for answers to questions, I wasn't looking to solve conflicts, I just wanted more of Him. And as they say, be careful for what you wish for...
A Change of Heart
Well, my heart changed. While my home was safe, comfortable, and I followed what my favorite bloggers wrote about how my home should be, it all changed when I finally asked God how my home should be. I was full of a deep sense of sorrow and compassion. Sorrow as I paid attention, to more than just to the state of my home, but to the state of the homes of the world. I saw the injustices, the oppression, the lost, the fatherless and the motherless, the violence, the hunger, and even the spiritless and fruitless states of those who call themselves Christians. Compassion as I physically and spiritually cried out for those people. It was a feeling that overtook me. It was almost a state of depression. Everything in my home and life seemed so perfect, yet I knew something was missing. The closer I drew to God and the more I worked on my temple so that His Spirit might dwell richly within me, the more clear I was able to hear God speaking to me. How could I call myself a child of God and know He lives within me and not have compassion for the things He has compassion for or not love (in deeds) the things He loves? (Get alone with the bible and READ IT FOR YOURSELF. From cover to cover. It WILL change your life.) Even if I wanted to, I couldn't ignore this. The story of Nehemiah comes to mind. Nehemiah was living a pretty decent life near the King, but when he heard of the conditions of his people back home, his life changed. He fasted, prayed, and did something about it. God was with him the entire way!
A Change of Interests
After my heart changed, it was only natural that I was no longer interested in the things that the world says are interesting. (Still sounds like depression, huh? ;) ) I had a hard time every day sitting in my comfortable home, eating warm meals and drinking fresh water (maybe some juice on a good day ;) ), spending all of my money on me, mine, and my interests. The world says that's OK... that's the American dream, right? Work hard so that you can make a decent lifestyle for yourself and retire happy and comfortable. Well, all of a sudden my interests were no longer me, mine, and my interests. I was more interested in what God is interested in: righteousness, justice, loving people, taking care of others, sacrificing for others... the list goes on. I had to go further than my household. My household is a reflection of me, or so the saying goes. I wanted my household to be a reflection of Christ. And when I study the gospel it's all about love, sacrifice, and grace not just to those who are in my house. It's more so about the orphans, the widows, and the poor - in other words those who can't do, don't have, and need for themselves. That American Dream was not so much of a dream for me anymore. While those around me were so concerned with things of this world, I found out for myself that when you set your mind on God and his righteousness, He WILL provide all of your needs (but that will be in a later post).
A Change of Mind
After all of these changes, I still had to make up in mind that I was going to change. Some might feel a change of heart, in that they feel the emotions behind watching others suffer while they have it easy. Some might even feel a change of interests by not really enjoying the things they do knowing that God is calling them to something more purposeful. However, many still walk away from the change because, the change is. .. uncomfortable. It's dangerous. It's selfless. It's unorganized. It's unpredictable. And it requires you to love others more than yourself. You have to change your mind about doing something. I couldn't just walk away feeling compelled to do something, my mind was made up that I was going to do something. I knew God, my supplier, would continue to supply especially now that His mission is my mission.
And God is that good in that He will direct your path and align everything up just perfectly for you to serve Him. My husband and I have been on the same agenda. As God worked in my heart, He was also working in the heart of my husband. When the plans of both husband and wife are to serve God, I don't believe God would communicate different messages within the marriage. That would be disorderly and confusing, and those are not words that describe my God! Christopher has an amazing heart and just seeks to please God. (Which makes him all the more attractive!)
A Change of Life
So every aspect of my life has changed. My desires, my prayers, where I live, how I live, what I spend my time doing. . . It's seriously all about God. Yes, it's a radical change, but it brings me such joy! Completely opposite of what the world says! The teachings of the world are to accumulate more things to be happy. .. you NEED this car, you NEED this house, you NEED this job, you NEED this amount of money. .. all of those things to stay happy, comfortable, and satisfied. It wasn't until I started getting rid of things to better serve others that I have felt the most happy. People believe your children need things to have an ideal upbringing, your spouse needs tangible things to be happy, and you need "you time"... for whatever reason. More about the changes we've made to come in future posts.
So What About Homemaking?
Interesting we spend so much time storing up treasures in the world...
I still have a family and a home that I'm accountable for. The way we do "home" has changed. My kids are learning how to be disciples through more than word, but in deeds and action. I'm still making a home, but the home that we are preparing for is the one in heaven. There was always that, "if I had more time, I would..." or "if I had more money, I would..." so instead of waiting for that promotion at Christopher's job, that one less thing I needed to do, or that golden opportunity, I MADE time, I FREED up resources, and EVERY moment is an opportunity to share the gospel. Love is an action. Life is a journey and I can't wait to share more...
